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Glowforge CEO, Wharton Research Fellow, Robot Turtles creator, Proud Dad

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Startup dudes: Cut the sexist crap

Last week I was speaking on what would have otherwise been a terrific panel.  It was Frank Artale from Ignition, Tom Duterme from Groupon M&A, Andy Sack from Lighter Capital & Founder’s Co-op, and me talking about funding & exiting.  The only thing that spoiled it was yet another guy in the tech scene putting forth yet another objectifying/patronizing treatment of someone with two X chromosomes.

In this case, the recipient of the bogus intro was the panel moderator, Rebecca Lovell. Just in case anyone out there in startupland has not  met Rebecca, she’s one of the best-connected people in the Seattle tech scene, with a resume that includes leadership roles at the Alliance of Angels, NWEN, and now Geekwire.  These would all be appropriate topics to use when introducing someone, man or woman. Here’s what the man introducing Rebecca chose to say instead (you can listen to the full audio of the introduction for context):

Rebecca’s one of the smartest ladies I know, and I thought that she was a perfect pick for the role of moderator.  When we selected Rebecca and she said yes, she was a sexy single woman. And since that time, she’s become a sexy married woman, and so I wanted her lucky new spouse to stand up.  So we’ve got not only a very talented, but a happy moderator.

Come on, people.  Really?

This has been bugging me for a while.  I was coaching one team for Techstars Demo Day, and they had a photo of scantily clad women (that had nothing to do with their pitch) that I convinced them to strike.  Two months ago, a company I was coaching showed up for a meeting with me at Google and made a comment about the receptionist’s appearance.  Within earshot of her.

Everyone has a reason.  One person was older.  One person was from another country.  It just doesn’t matter.  If we keep this bullshit up, we’re going to crap all over another generation of women tech entrepreneurs.  And it’s just a rotten thing to do. Think before you open your mouth.

And if you see someone doing this, call them on it. I didn’t… that was my nervous laughter in the background of the recording.

Better late then never.

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Comments

260 responses to “Startup dudes: Cut the sexist crap”

  1. I applied for Tech Stars, Seattle. Makes me wonder how well my application was received, being young, female, and blonde. 

    Sarah Schacht Avatar
    Sarah Schacht

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  2. That’s great!  I know @andysack:twitter, who runs Seattle Techstars, has his head in the right place here.  And I know that everyone involved with @techstars:twitter is hoping to see a more diverse group of founders this year.

    Dan Shapiro Avatar
    Dan Shapiro

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  3. I’m not even sure why we call them “women entrepreneurs” – aren’t they just entrepreneurs (who happen to be female)?

    Josh Bob Avatar
    Josh Bob

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  4. I have been referred to as “the girl from the other tech event” more than a handful of times when I go to meetups, etc around Seattle.

    Also have been in a room where someone has pointed out there were only a few ladies. Super quick way to make me feel really awkward!

    Christina Green Avatar
    Christina Green

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  5. gay men are a lot less likely to respond to women in a public setting like this.  it’s not because they are unattracted to women sexually.  it’s because they know how it feels to be treated like a stereotype first and a professional second.

    Vpglobalops Avatar
    Vpglobalops

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  6. I plan to start referring to myself as a brunette entrepreneur.

    Dan Shapiro Avatar
    Dan Shapiro

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  7. DAN!  I am guilty of the same sin of inaction.  Even worse?  I was sitting with Rebecca’s husband!

    I too was bothered by this but couldn’t bring myself to do anything about it.  What struck me that night was that I have known Rebecca for years, and yet had never seen her moderate a panel.  Truly fantastic, she could easily have her own show.  But where she succeeded in making the four of you on stage interesting beyond your professional exploits, her introductor (not a word, don’t care) failed miserably.  Predictably, she handled it with class and grace.  Cheers for taking a stand here, belated or otherwise.  I’ll stand with you next time.

    Rob Avatar
    Rob

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  8. Dan, your 

    Avatar
    Anonymous

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  9. Good for you! Too many guys laugh that kind of thing off with a “boys will be boys” mentality that ignores what it does to women. 

    Avatar
    Anonymous

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  10. Thanks for the article.  I could not agree with you more.  This kind of thing really irks me when I experience it.  And, I’m pathologically non-confrontational, which irks me even more, because I never call people on it.  

    By the way, Katie Rae, who heads up TechStars Boston is super awesome.  

    Dharmesh Shah Avatar
    Dharmesh Shah

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  11. I love that you posted this. Thank you! You give me hope.

    Avatar
    Anonymous

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  12. The running commentary we have with some of our tech startup clients is that when they “grow up” and have market traction, real revenues and a larger employee population, the founders will have to clean up their act.  That means no more sexist, disparaging comments about female contractors.  And no more photos of nude women in the office. We counsel our founders to take their role as leaders seriously…that what you say and what you do really matter to the culture of the company you’re building.  Recently, study results published in places like Harvard Business Review indicate that companies with women in leadership roles perform better.  If tech founders want to optimize for success, they should create work environments that are favorable to women.  It’s just good business. 

    Carol Broadbent
    Partner, Crowded Ocean
    http://www.crowdedocean.com

    Avatar
    Anonymous

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  13. What year is this? 

    anne Avatar
    anne

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  14. I’m confused.  You think sexist behavior is OK as long as they don’t have very many employees yet?

    Dan Shapiro Avatar
    Dan Shapiro

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  15. Dan is 110% correct. Also of note, the Seattle Techstar’s selection committee had 2 women on it last year and should have at least 2 this year.

    Avatar
    Anonymous

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  16. Cisnormative language mars this otherwise good article: “The only thing that spoiled it was yet another guy in the tech scene
    putting forth yet another objectifying/patronizing treatment of someone
    with two X chromosomes.” Not all women have two X chromosomes, and not all men have a Y chromosome. Language like this is non-descriptive (do you karyotype everybody you meet before you decide what gender you impute to them?), but it does have the function of being othering towards people with transsexual or intersex bodies, in just the same way the behavior you’ve described is othering towards women.

    Tim Chevalier Avatar
    Tim Chevalier

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  17. Hardly!  It’s that when companies are young, maybe still in stealth mode, the founders have a great opportunity to set the tone and do right from the beginning.  I think there are some founders that have come from big companies where HR played bad cop, etc, and now because they’re under cover in a private company, they feel that they can let loose, so to speak.

    Avatar
    Anonymous

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  18. Sounds like a throwback to Mad Men

    Frank Strategic Mktg Avatar
    Frank Strategic Mktg

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  19. Sounds like a throwback to Mad Men

    Frank Strategic Mktg Avatar
    Frank Strategic Mktg

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  20. You’re quite right.  That said, I can’t be sure of the sex of anyone I don’t know intimately, so I’m not sure that referring to as having XX chromosomes is any more presumptive than referring to them as a woman.

    Dan Shapiro Avatar
    Dan Shapiro

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  21. You’re quite right.  That said, I can’t be sure of the sex of anyone I don’t know intimately, so I’m not sure that referring to as having XX chromosomes is any more presumptive than referring to them as a woman.

    Dan Shapiro Avatar
    Dan Shapiro

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  22. Thanks for this post, Dan. I was opening at TEDxEast salon in November and was introduced as someone who “has such an interesting boyfriend, you might forget to talk to her.” Not cool. Smacking these down at the moment they happen should help. 

    Kristen Taylor Avatar
    Kristen Taylor

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  23. whatwhatWHAT?

    Dan Shapiro Avatar
    Dan Shapiro

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  24. Poor attempt at humor for sure, but saying that we’re a generation away from women tech entrepreneurs because of such behavior is a stretch. The person who made that joke deserves to be corrected, privately. However, making someone an example for sexism and writing a blog post about it for making a poor joke is ridiculous.

    vikasrao Avatar
    vikasrao

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  25. I don’t think the intent here was negative.
    The problem is that neckbeards LITERALLY do not know how to talk to or about women.

    Avatar
    Anonymous

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  26. Yup. And I do have a fascinating boyfriend, but that was completely irrelevant to the event, the topic, and my talk. I hear stories like this all the time. 

    Kristen Taylor Avatar
    Kristen Taylor

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  27. Why is it ridiculous?  And how exactly do we correct the (very roughly) 10:1 gender imbalance in entrepreneurship if we don’t talk about it in public?

    Dan Shapiro Avatar
    Dan Shapiro

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  28. Another thing which vexes me is that you characterize your laughing in the background as a “nervous” laughter. While you have this platform to justify your actions, the individual you have singled out wont have that chance. What if another famous blogger wrote about this before you and singled you out for laughing at that joke and put you on public trial instead? 

    vikasrao Avatar
    vikasrao

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  29. “If we keep this bullshit up, we’re going to crap all over another generation of women tech entrepreneurs.  ”

    Oh noes! Think of the ladies!

    Foljs Avatar
    Foljs

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  30. “Not all women have two X chromosomes, and not all men have a Y chromosome. ”

    Actually, scientifically speaking, all do. Some just make pretend to be otherwise.

    Foljs Avatar
    Foljs

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  31. Saying that women are not involved in technology because the usually shy and awkward programmers make sexist jokes is simply not true. The fact is that women are equal and they survive just as well in environments such as sales, finance, etc where their male colleagues are sometimes overtly sexual. Why there not enough women tech 
    entrepreneurs is a social issue which goes beyond just sexism. Please do note that I am in no way condoning the guy’s behavior, I just feel that you are putting someone on public trial, unfairly.

    vikasrao Avatar
    vikasrao

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  32. Never is always better after late.

    PermaTroll Avatar
    PermaTroll

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  33. Well done for using the post as a personal platform Tim. You managed to diverge from the entire sentiment of the post, fit some big words in there, sidetrack attention from a very important topic and undermine what most women in business would consider genuine support. But well done you for getting your profile picture on another blog post.

    Chris Gilchrist Avatar
    Chris Gilchrist

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  34. “They’re not going to release the album because they have decided that the cover is sexist.” Nigel: “Well, so what, What’s wrong with being sexy?

    Nigel Avatar
    Nigel

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  35. Actually, Tim is quite right scientifically, too. It is entirely possible (although somewhat rare) for an individual to possess a chromosomal arrangement that is opposite to their phenotypic sex.

    Noetic Jun Avatar
    Noetic Jun

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  36. Thanks for posting this.

    I’m sure you’ll get the usual parade of anonymous jerks, people who have a “scientific” explanation of their sexism, and yutzes indulging in the naturalistic fallacy to justify their unearned privilege. Ignore them all, and please keep fighting.

    William Pietri Avatar
    William Pietri

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  37. What an awful, backhanded thing to say. They’re just so ingrained in being an asshole they probably didn’t even realize it.

    Dean Putney Avatar
    Dean Putney

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  38. Making a short and informative sidenote does not diverge from the issue in any way.

    guest Avatar
    guest

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  39. This is a comment I posted on Facebook
    I see this shit all the time, and most men don’t even realize they’re doing it. Lots of startups quickly converge to a culture that’s little better than a frat house.
    If you think this is much ado about nothing, consider this: the subtle sexist parts of your company’s culture will turn off any qualified woman from working there.
    And we all know how *EASY* it is to hire in Silicon Valley these days.
    I’d also like to add, one of the most positive experiences in my startup life was working for Brian Sugar and Lisa Sugar at Sugar, Inc.. This was my first job at a proper startup and as a male I was in the minority.
    I joined as #10 or so, and the first non-founding engineer. One third of the founding team were female. The second engineer we hired was Lydia Wagner.
    From #10 to #30 or so I think I was one of only two or three male hires.
    The stereotypical Silicon Valley startup is founded by N engineers, probably male, who graduated from college in the last 5 years.
    Put those people in a tiny room for 10-14 hours a day, 6 days a week, for a year or two and it’s kind of inevitable.
    But it’s also easy to stop if you’re self-aware about it, and the founders make it a priority.

    Jesse Farmer Avatar
    Jesse Farmer

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  40. Honestly, I don’t think that’s diverging from the sentiment of the post. Feminist circles often run into the problem that they are too mired in one specific problem when there is a greater issue at large. He’s making a decent point, albeit probably a bit tongue-in-cheek, if not Tim, I apologize.

    The larger issue is this: Dialogue is important to inclusion, and any exclusion is bad. 

    To say, “Why are you worrying about THOSE people, we shouldn’t worry about them” because the particular group isn’t particularly large is just as problematic as the problem that this article is discussing, and in fact, is basically what created the current culture to begin with. Women in tech are a small group, so why should we care about them?

    So really: How does this diverge from the sentiment of the post? Tim is pointing out problematic behavior.

    Lauren Voswinkel Avatar
    Lauren Voswinkel

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  41. @foljs: Look up Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome and de la Chapelle syndrome for more info on the intersex conditions where XY individuals present phenotypically female and XX phenotypically male.
    Also, when’s the last time you were karyotyped? :P

    Lauren Voswinkel Avatar
    Lauren Voswinkel

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  42. We just need more gay entrepreneurs like me — that will solve the problem :)

    Mark Thomas Avatar
    Mark Thomas

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  43. Dean, it’s more that the behavior is subtle and dumbfounding; the person is a brillant speaker and, to borrow Dan’s language,  was otherwise a perfect moderator. 

    Kristen Taylor Avatar
    Kristen Taylor

    •

  44. I think Tim’s point is that identifying as a woman (in terms of gender) doesn’t require one to have female biology (in terms of sex.) Referring to chromosomes, on the other hand, implies the link (hence cisnormative.)

    http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Introduction_to_Sociology/Gender#Gender_vs._Sex
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woman#Biology_and_gender

    (I thought it was a good post, btw. :).)

    Angus Gratton Avatar
    Angus Gratton

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  45. Thanks for taking the time to write this post. It is really important and so easy to overlook.

    Katherine K Avatar
    Katherine K

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  46. Maybe instead of being angry each time you hear a racist/sexist/whateverist thing, just get used to it and ignore it. If everybody wouldn’t take other peoples’ words so seriously it would be easier to everybody.

    You can’t make all people stop saying stupid stuff, but you can learn to ignore it.

    Aleksander Balicki Avatar
    Aleksander Balicki

    •

  47. A woman is someone who identifies as a woman — it doesn’t have to do with any objectively measurable biological standard — and you can usually, though not always, determine that from the ways in which someone chooses to present themselves.

    Tim Chevalier Avatar
    Tim Chevalier

    •

  48.  No, this is transphobia. Your comment is about as acceptable in polite society as saying “all men are attracted to women, it’s just that some men pretend to be attracted to men.”

    Tim Chevalier Avatar
    Tim Chevalier

    •

  49. Dan, many, many thanks for posting this. 

    Your piece reflects another common event: men are asked to speak, women to moderate. :)

    Cindy Gallop Avatar
    Cindy Gallop

    •

  50.  Nope, there was nothing tongue-in-cheek about my comment.

    Tim Chevalier Avatar
    Tim Chevalier

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